The Wedding Vows | Golden tips for writing

Reading time 7 Minutes

The Wedding Vows | Golden tips for writing

Reading time 7 Minutes

wedding vow

The Wedding Vows

There is nothing better than giving a unique and self-written gift. So how do you write a wedding vow? In this blog post, read more about vows + 6 tips that will help you write a successful vow for your partner.


"Dear (partner),

From the moment we met, I knew you were the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. You are my support system and I would do anything to make you happy.

Today, I promise to always take care of you and support you through all the ups and downs of life. I promise to love and respect you, to honour and cherish you for the rest of my days.

I promise to always be honest with you and to communicate openly and sincerely with you. I will never betray your trust and will always do my best to keep our relationship strong.

I promise to inspire and encourage you to pursue your dreams and work with you to build our future as a team. I will always be by your side and support you in everything you do.

I look forward to sharing the rest of my life with you and I can't wait for our love to continue to blossom and grow. You are the love of my life and I can't wait to marry you and start our life together.

I love you, (partner).”

vow emotion

Questions to answer

Below are points you can use to write your wedding vows:

  1. How did you fall in love?
  2. At what moments do you feel yourself loved?
  3. What makes your relationship special?
  4. What do you have in common?
  5. What do you enjoy doing most together?
  6. How does he or she enrich your life?
  7. Where do you differ?
  8. What bothers you about your partner? (Think impatience, snoring or hanging toilet roll the other way round)
  9. What is typical of you?
  10. How have you changed?
  11. What are fun commemorative memories?
  12. Have there been any tough moments that you have overcome?
  13. Why did you stay with him or her?
  14. What does love mean to you?
  15. Where do you want to go?
vow emotion

How do you write a wedding vow?

Writing a wedding vow is easier said than done. How do you write a wedding vow, is using rhyme essential and what topics do you focus on? Here are 5 tips to support you while writing.

1. Follow your gut

Writing a successful wedding vow has only one real rule: write from your gut. After all, you write best from your feelings. Your head knows what you like about your partner, but you experience love with your feelings. Listen to your heart and it will automatically be on paper.

The wedding guests exchange heartfelt vows before sharing a romantic dance as bride and groom during their wedding ceremony.

2. Make it personal

One of the most important components of successful wedding vows is originality. Print out one from the internet, read it up, and automatically notice that this will do nothing for your partner. It is therefore important to name things that your partner recognises, touches and experiences. Therefore, first write down what you like and like about your partner. You can process this later.
When writing a personal wedding vow, it is also important to write down why you like the person, rather than that you like the person.
'I like seeing you because you are so much fun,' are empty words. 'You are fun because I can be my boorish self with you' or 'Even in the hard times, you were there to show me the way. For that, I am always grateful to you." are instead words with meaning.

3. Keep it real

Using hyperbole can work well, but wedding vows that are too tacky and therefore unreal can backfire. Therefore, keep your wedding vows loving, simple, but above all pure. So don't write about how your partner always cooks, is cheerful and likes to do laundry, if this is not the case. Rather, write lovingly about how you handle difficult situations and the trust you have in the other person.

A bride and groom having a light-hearted moment in front of a window, captured by a wedding photographer.

4. Don't make it too long

A wedding vow does not have to be long. The important thing is that a wedding vow has the content you want to convey. For example, you can record it on your phone and decide for yourself if it is not too long.

A man immersed in wedding vows, reading a book in a bathroom.

5. Rhyme is unimportant

However, wedding vows do not necessarily have to rhyme. In fact, making it rhyme can sometimes be detrimental and break down the splendour of the piece. If you focus too much on rhyming words, you run the risk of using too many sentences without an opinion, purely to have that sentence end with a rhyming word. Think of:

'You are my dearest Jan,
Who can do all the jobs,
Like repairing a roof tile,
You are my great carpenter.

It sounds heartfelt, but profound is different. For that reason, it is sometimes useful to let go of rhyming altogether at first. Who knows, some sentences might rhyme by themselves, or you might just end your wedding vows with a rhyming word. This is all fine. It makes your wedding vow more beautiful, cleaner and original.

A bride and bride exchange wedding vows.

6. Use humour

Wedding vows need not only be serious. We have imposed on ourselves the rule that sincere poetry must be serious. Humour has the power to convey a message in a light-hearted way. Whereas serious wedding vows can come across as uncomfortable, humour ensures that the message comes across in a fresh way. Commonly used humour in love poems is the classic 'sexy-humour.' This may sound obscene or crude, but it need not be. After all, poetry that makes fun of desires is ancient. Note: Humour is personal. Therefore, estimate for yourself what your partner appreciates and what you can and cannot include in wedding vows.

A bride and groom exchanging wedding vows on a quay beside a calm water.

7. Practice your wedding vows out loud

If you plan to recite your wedding vow, practise it beforehand. This will help you find out whether it sounds right when you pronounce it, and it will prevent you from stumbling over words later. Match the text in the vow book to by improving each time. Rewriting is therefore important.

Two men in wedding-themed suits look at each other at a table.

8. Try it from memory

Looking each other in the eye makes it all the more special. Practising without paper makes it seem like you're saying it on the spot from your heart. As a back up, you can always keep the vow in your back pocket or bra.

When do you read wedding vows?

You can recite a vow during the ceremony. You can also do it during the photo shoot so that you have a moment to yourselves. However, the photographer remotely want to photograph your reactions.

A bride and groom exchanging wedding vows in a corridor while sharing a heartfelt hug.

The marriage vow for men and women

There are no rules attached to writing a wedding vow addressed to men or women. After all, no two men or women like the same thing. Where one woman is sensitive, another man is down-to-earth and vice versa. Therefore, match the style of your wedding vows to your partner's personality.
If your wife is a down-to-earth person, keep it simple and sweet. If your husband is a fan of drama in films and literature, a more dramatic, profound poem will be more appropriate. Follow your gut in this.

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About the Author: Justin Manders

As wedding photographer Since 2013, I have had the privilege of constantly seeing the most beautiful sides of people. My role is to observe and direct people and moments so that they are remembered in the most enjoyable way. I am always open to a good conversation, so don't hesitate to contact me.


  1. [...] Previous 30 original wedding day gifts [...]

  2. Suzan 6 February 2022 at 18:27 - Reply

    So beautiful.

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